Worried about profit? Commit to the practice.

One day in the 10th grade, I was talking to my friend after a youth orchestra concert. Liam was one of those young musicians who wasn’t just good at his instrument. It was pretty clear, at least to his peers, that he was set up for greatness. 

As we stood amongst the post-concert reception brownies and chips, Liam started to speak about a big issue he saw in young musicians.

“So many people want to be a professional musician, but they hate practicing!” he exclaimed. “Loving the performance part is easy. But, if you’re going to make a living as a musician, you have to love the practice part. Otherwise, what’s the point!”

I nodded in agreement, but on the inside I was horrified. I felt seen - and not in the good way.

As the next 10 years of my flute career would confirm, I had not fallen in love with the practice of being a musician. I never even gave myself the chance. 

For me, flute was all about achievement. And practicing was a means to that end. But in the practice room - I was miserable. Ultimately, once I was able to admit that to myself, I decided to step away from pursuing flute professionally for good.

For better, for worse, until death do us part.

Ideally, we don’t choose our partners in life solely based on who will look best in our vacation photos. 

Rather, we tend to choose our partners based on who we want to be with on the 14 hour plane ride, who we want to be with when we unexpectedly get food poisoning from the local cuisine, who we want to be with when we return to our home and realize the basement has flooded. 

We choose our partners based on who we want to be with. But do we do the same with our career?

So often, I speak to entrepreneurs who want to bypass the discomfort and uncertainty and “skip” right to the external achievements they desire. And I don’t blame them! There is a lot of messaging out there that suggests fast-tracked financial gain is the simple path to happiness and success.

Spoiler alert: it’s not. 

Just like having stunning, professionally-shot vacation photos isn’t the path to a happy and successful marriage - the path to a joyful, fulfilling career is in the journey. It’s in the mistakes and the small wins, in the bad days and bursts of inspiration, in the setbacks and the glimmers of hope.

It’s in falling in love with the practice.

What loving the practice looks like

Since leaving my professional pursuits in music, I have come to fall in love with practicing the flute. 

When I ended my performing career, I didn’t fully realize that I actually had the option to cultivate a loving relationship with the practice - so I left. Perhaps I did realize there was an option but I didn’t actually want to stay. I don’t know if I’ll ever know. And that’s okay.

I have, however, fallen in love with a practice that is also my profession - the practice of coaching. Like there were with flute, there are certainly shiny achievements that are tempting to chase. And I’m not perfect or saintly - sometimes I get pumped up for that financial goal or certain client or big ticket contract!

The difference is, the achievements do not get me out of bed in the morning. Fear of failure no longer keeps me up at night.

My favorite part of the day is not when someone pays me - it’s when I have a great session with another human being. Some days really suck, and after a good cry, I love looking for the lesson within that pain that I can then use to help myself and others down the road.

I believe that our ability to fall in love with the practice, whichever practice that may be, comes from our willingness to keep our expectations fair.

So often, I speak to people who expect a new career path or project to be their silver bullet. They expect that by simply choosing the path forward, they will immediately be met with happiness, fame, wealth, and success.

Just like a relationship can’t save you from yourself - a career can’t either.

We fall in love with the practice when we treat it like a mirror for ourselves.

How can your practice, whatever it may be, show you more about yourself? How can it be a space where you explore and grow? How can it be your connection to creativity?

When we create a relationship with our practice from that place, and opt into loving it every day, we build a success and level of fulfillment that is unshakeable. And doesn’t that sound nice?