Thinking about ditching those newly established boundaries? Think again.
There’s a moment in the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” where the protagonist comes to the harsh realization that leveling up in her dating life means saying a hard “No!” to every opportunity she would have previously jumped at.
Even though she’s now aware that she deserves better, facing the reality of actually saying no and creating that space in her life feels terrifying.
I really love this part of the movie because I feel like it’s a moment we can all relate to - not just in dating - but in our career and life choices in general.
Most of us have faced the choice to cut something out of our lives that no longer serves us:
That toxic work environment
That gig that pays the least but takes up the majority of our time
That large donor who attaches 50 strings to every dollar they give
At first - it feels great! We are empowered! We are creating our future one hard choice at a time! Watch out world - here we come!
And then? It gets super real. Super fast.
We apply for a few new jobs only to hear crickets.
We get offered some new gigs, but most of them pay even less than the gig we left.
It’s been two months since letting that donor go, and we haven’t even replaced 10% of their giving amount.
So we freeze. And freak out. And start to create a negative fantasy land in which we aren’t good enough, nobody wants us, and nothing will ever work out!
If you are going through this with a life or career change, or have gone through it before, know that you are not alone, and it is a sign you should KEEP GOING, not turn back.
Why? Because the hilly parts in a marathon are expectedly awful. Junior year of high school is universally recognized as academic torture. The first few weeks of a diet are going to be the hardest weeks - every time.
Similarly - that moment of spaciousness after setting life and career boundaries in order to level-up and achieve your goals? Yes, it’s super freaking scary. It’s just going to be. But also, it’s super freaking worth it. And if you see it for what it is, just a phase in the process, you will make it through.