What even is coaching? Part 2
“Wait, so you’re trying to be, like, Tony Robbins?”
If you missed it, I started to demystify the world of coaching in Part 1- where I broke down the difference between coaching, consulting, and mentoring.
In this post, I’m going take a look the two top questions I hear about coaching and answer them in the most candid, straightforward, no bullsh*t way I know how.
Maybe you’ve had these questions yourself. Maybe the post-pandemic influx of coaches and coaching services filling up your inbox and social media feed has you facing these questions right now. Maybe you’re simply bored, have a few minutes to spare, and reading this just for fun.
No matter why you’re here - here you are! So let’s dive in.
And no, for the record, most coaches I know aren’t trying to be Tony Robbins.
What makes someone qualified to be a coach?
The short answer: exceptional listening and behavioral pattern recognition skills.
If you are thinking to yourself that it seems like that answer leaves room for a wide range of styles, approaches, and quality across the industry - you are correct.
The truth is, coaching is an industry where there is a low bar to entry and a high bar to success.
I liken it to personal training. Anyone can call themselves a personal trainer and personal trainers come at all price points. In training, popularity and public image doesn’t always mean quality. There are plenty of subpar trainers out there with a flashy social media presence and a carefully cultivated image, and plenty of outstanding trainers out there who fly under the radar, quietly cultivating their craft.
Inevitably, people always ask about coaching certification programs when bringing up the qualification question. Coaching certification programs were constructed to fill a void in an industry that is still pretty undefined. They are great resources for anyone to learn coaching skills and processes. They are also great for people who are motivated by programmatic or certificate-based learning.
However, most of the top tier coaches out there (we’re talking 7-figure, VIP client, Fortune 500 keynote coaches) are not “certified” coaches. In fact, many of them have arts or teaching backgrounds - believe it or not.
In reality, coaching is a practice in the truest sense of the word. It’s the constant cultivation of those listening and pattern recognition skills through experience and a willingness to learn. In my experience, the coaches who fall in love with the actual practice are the ones who become really great at what they do.
Because the qualification question is not black and white, inevitably this next question arises.
How can I make sure a coach is right for me before I sign up with them?
This is an incredibly valid question that unfortunately doesn’t get asked as much as it should because quite a lot of coaches out there use sales tactics that are intended to make prospective clients feel guilty for even asking this type of question.
If this has happened to you - I’m so sorry. It has definitely happened to me.
When I’m looking for a coach, or advising others on how to select a coach, I’m looking for three major things:
the opportunity to experience their work first hand
a lack of neediness on their part
confirmation that they are personally enrolled in the same type of coaching that they are delivering
You may have noticed that I didn’t list testimonials or proof of “success” with other clients as a requirement. I honestly don’t care what a coach’s work looks like with other people. I care what their work looks like with me.
And in my experience, testimonials and client results are like statistical reports and projections - sometimes they’re painting an accurate picture, but also they’re really easily manipulated to paint a rainbow-filled promise.
For me, being able to experience a coach’s work before signing up with them is a non-negotiable.
Sometimes, this looks different depending on the type of coaching being offered. For example, someone who leads group coaching/mentorship programs may not offer individual coaching calls as a part of the enrollment process. However, I would be looking for either a free Facebook group or lower-priced workshops for you to get a taste of what the experience of working with them is like.
If someone is an individual coach, I would absolutely expect to experience them in a 1:1 coaching setting before signing up with them. Most coaches I know and respect spend multiple hours coaching and getting to know prospective clients. Because honestly - how else would you know what you’re buying?
Neediness is a hard quality to define, but you probably know it when you feel it aimed at you. If you’re feeling it from a prospective coach - especially if you get the sense they want your money in their pocket RIGHT NOW - take a breath and slow down. Yes, it’s entirely possible you’re projecting your own money fears onto them. However, extreme urgency - either perceived or explicitly stated - is never something I want to feel when making a purchasing decision. And usually when I feel it coming from a coach, it’s simply a poorly placed sales tactic.
Lastly, and all you coaches out there listen up - I would never sign up with a coach who isn’t enrolled in the type of coaching they are providing. If they are running high level group programs, I want to know which high level group programs they participate in. If they are offering individual coaching, I want to know that they are signed up for individual coaching.
As master coach Steve Chandler says - I want my doctor to have a doctor. I want my coach to have a coach.
And back to that whole question about quality - a coach who is enrolled in the same type of coaching they are offering is, in my opinion, committed to the practice. They are showing up every day to their profession, investing in their growth, and constantly honing and striving to improve.
Essentially, they are doing exactly what they’re asking you to do when they pitch their services to you. Their actions are matching their words. And no - that isn’t amoré. It’s integrity.
Got more questions? Shoot me an email and let’s talk.
And stay tuned for Part 3 of What even is coaching?