Tips for when you're freaking out from a professional freaker outer

Hi, I’m Lisa and I’ve had a truly prolific career as a professional anxiety spiraler. I don’t want to brag, but my experience is vast. Panic attacks, manic work sessions, day-long naps, obsessive thoughts - I’ve done it all. *hair flip*

Because of this, I’ve picked up some techniques for how to mitigate damage when the fear train falls off the tracks. Here are some of the ones that have worked best for me - and hopefully at least one will provide a few seconds of solace for you if you find yourself consumed by fear.

This is not happening to me right now.

One of my favorite sayings goes something like, “All emotional and mental pain exists in the past or in the future, not in the present.” 

Now, I want to acknowledge that there are a lot of people in the world who are lacking basic resources to sustain life right now. However, if you are reading this blog post, I’m going to assume you have a roof over your head, clean water, food to eat tonight, and probably you have a roll of toilet paper or two to spare.

If that’s the case, the inner turmoil and worry you’re experiencing is living in the past or future - even if it is the very recent past or very soon-to-be future.

I just lost a ton of work.

Will I be able to pay rent next month?

When will this end?

While all of these are valid fears, all of these are not in the present. And so much can happen in the present when we can build the space to think a little more clearly and create a little more freely.

In order to create that space, when I’m lost in the spiral and my body is in full blow fight or flight, I repeat these words to myself: 

This is not happening to me right now. 

Emphasis on the right now.

After a few times of saying this to myself, I start to look at what is happening to me and around me at that moment, and I say it out loud. “

I’m sitting in my apartment. I’m staring at my cat. I am breathing. I am safe. I am scared. I am human. 

For me, this usually brings me back down to earth and dulls the sharp pangs of anxiety.

Out of sight out of mind.

In order to plan for the future, we need to create a clean mental space in the now. When we are stressed, this feels nearly impossible to do. Items that we are preemptively worrying about have a habit of masquerading as things we need to worry about now, and lines can get blurred and messy very quickly.

Let’s say you know that you have a bunch of postponed gigs you need to follow up with about rescheduling. You know that now isn’t the time to do so, but it’s a massive future to do item. Maybe it’s consuming your day to day thoughts, and you are wondering, “If not now, then when?”

This anxiety-reducing tactic revolves around picking a date in the future - maybe it’s next week or maybe it’s next month - that you would like to resume worrying about this to do item. Write the item on a piece of paper, fold it up, put it in an envelope, mark the envelope with the date you have selected, and then put the envelope somewhere out of the way but still visible. Whenever you have a new gig to reschedule or a new worry about the rescheduling process, write it down and put it in the envelope.

I conceived of this tactic during a time when I was making myself physically sick due to worry and stress. It’s so effective for me in calming me down - I hope it helps you as well.

Stretch it out. 

As humans, our stress cycle is a half mental and half physical self-feeding loop. This looks like:

I’m stressed therefore my muscles are tense and my muscles are tense therefore my brain thinks there is a reason to be stressed.

When I’m freaking out, I will also make myself small and tense. I hunch my shoulders, I slouch in my chair, I clench my muscles. And even when the mental stress passes, my body is telling my mind, “No! What are you doing! Didn’t you know we should be stressed right now!”

I have found it very effective in these moments to assume passive stretching positions that open the body up. Personally, I lay vertically on a foam roller and open my arms - but really any position that counteracts the fetal position will do. I know it sounds so simple, but this is actually a tactic I wish I employed more. It works and requires the least amount of mental gymnastics to do so.

And finally, as I often say, humans are complicated plants. The mental techniques for fear and anxiety work best in conjunction with proper sleep, diet, hydration, and movement. And of course, if you are under medical supervision for anxiety or depression, consult with your team of medical professionals for the best advice for you.