The Curious Case of the Success Sads

 
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In October 2018, I did not leave my bed. I did not do any dishes. I did not clean my apartment. I did not hang out with friends. By all measures of the word, I was severely depressed.

Why?

Well, in September 2018, I found out I was going to be promoted to CEO of the company I had worked for for the past 3 years. I was 29. I was #killingit. I was achieving and proving and bossing and all the things. And don’t get me wrong, for about 3 days I was on cloud nine. 

Then, the adrenaline crash that inevitably follows a huge moment of excitement, success, or happiness hit me like a ton of bricks. As they say, “What goes up, must come down.” And if there’s something I’ve come to understand over the years, it’s that this theory applies exponentially to adrenaline spikes.

I bet that adrenaline crash, or the Success Sads as I like to call them, has happened to you. 

  • You nail that job interview and then can barely function the next day at work.

  • You crush that audition and need a full weekend to recover.

  • You are ecstatic about moving until one day that ecstasy turns into dread.

It’s okay. It’s actually quite normal. Adrenaline is a legitimately addictive drug (surely you’ve heard the term “adrenaline junkie”) and the sudden absence of a drug typically causes a withdrawal. 

Even though there is a certain level of scientific inevitability to the post-success adrenaline crash, there are also other non-chemical factors that can heavily influence whether you will just need a day of extra TLC to recover or launch into a full blown episode of inconsolable depression.

The most important thing to do is to talk about it.

So simple, yet so hard.

I didn’t speak to anyone about my post-promotion depression because I was ashamed and keenly aware of how annoyingly privileged my complaints sounded. I felt petulant, ungrateful, and as though I was “failing” at being successful. 

Finally, I told a friend what was going on. She had also experienced a major career achievement months before, and admitted that she too had launched into an inconsolable depression for the month after hearing her good news. She also felt ashamed, but just hearing that we had both gone through this helped to remind me that I wasn’t crazy.

And remember that your sadness isn’t about your achievements or success. Your sadness is about the sudden absence of the adrenaline in your system. You aren’t ungrateful - you’re just experiencing withdrawal. So talk to someone - a friend, a family member, a therapist, a coach - just start talking.

Once it’s over, address the demons that came up.

While the Success Sads are sparked by an adrenaline crash, other fears, negative beliefs, and destructive thoughts we have will happily latch onto our downward spiral and come along for the ride. 

These concrete thoughts are entirely ours and within our control to work on. So, once you feel energetically balanced again it is important to address these fears and beliefs. It may not be easy, but the more you work on these while feeling totally healthy, the less severely they will pop up when you are in the midst of a post-achievement slump.

And most importantly…

Know that you aren’t alone. Almost everyone I’ve spoken with experiences something like this at least once in their lives, if not regularly. You are allowed to be excited, and proud, and sad, and scared all at the same time. It doesn’t make you ungrateful - it just makes you human.

If you feel you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It is a free, 24-hour hotline, at 1.800.273.TALK (8255)

If you feel like you or a loved one are in immediate danger, please call 911.