Self-Awareness isn’t Self-Actualization (and why we try to convince ourselves it is)
Hey there fellow human! Are you trying to improve yourself, improve your business, improve your relationships, improve your life, improve YOU?
Well, I have news for you!
The path to improving you is EASY…..
….to underestimate, can hurt like hell, is painful as all get out, will make you question whether you actually want to improve, is a field of daisies if all the daisies were actually pieces of coal, and above all else is really very much worth it if you are willing to endure the discomfort necessary to grow.
Yes. If there is one thing that I’m certain of, it’s that growth is painful! After all, “Growing Pains” isn’t just a TV show from the 80s - it’s a real-life term applicable to all of us. I see evidence of this over and over again in my own life, in the organizations I’ve worked for, and in the clients I’ve worked with over the years.
If that weren’t enough good news for one day, I’ve found that we humans are true masters at making growth more painful. How do we do this?
We mistake the work it takes to become self-aware with the work it takes to self-actualize.
In reality, self-awareness is the first (and easiest) step towards self-actualization. And trust me - if you want to throw the device you are reading this on across the room, I totally understand. (Just make sure you bookmark or like the post first, please!)
But this is not all bad news. As I said before, believing that becoming self-aware is the hard part of the journey or the whole journey is what keeps us stuck.
Bringing it into some tangible examples - have you ever thought to yourself:
“But I’ve learned this lesson before, why am I back here again?”
“I know this is an unhealthy behavior, but I don’t know why I can’t stop.”
“I know I’m looking for abc in a job/collaborator/relationship, but for some reason I keep ending up in situations where I’m surrounded by xyz.”
If you have, you are probably stuck at self-awareness - and it might be time to pause, regroup, and get ready for the next part of the journey.
Just to be clear - I’m not trying to knock self-awareness. Self-awareness is also hard, and some of us may have just reached a new level of self-awareness in our own lives. And if that’s you - bravo! While it’s not the end of the journey, it’s a huge achievement and take some time to enjoy that.
But if you’re feeling routinely stuck in your work, in your relationships, or in your life - and you don’t know why because you are also keenly aware of what behaviors are keeping you there - it might be time to get back on that self-actualization path and choose one or both of the next steps: routine implementation and external support.
More on those two steps later. For now, I’ll be wishing you all happy growing pains - because hey - at least it means you’re growing!