Haven’t you heard? If you want to grow your network - gossip more.

Humans love gossip. Whether we admit it or not, acquiring information that is exclusive, privileged, or hot off the presses makes us feel relevant and special.

Having juicy gossip also means holding social currency that can be used to pull others in towards us. Plus, exchanging hard-to-access information with someone momentarily increases their trust in you - making everyone involved feel more included. 

The real down side is that most gossip out there focuses on celebrating the downfalls of others. Schadenfreude is quickly added into the mix and people feel tempted to spread and take joy in the insecurities and failures of others. 

This negative type of gossip quickly becomes sensationalized (think celebrity tabloids) and is ultimately destructive. And that momentary trust that gossip can build? It quickly disappears once the other person realizes that it’s only a matter of time until you are saying similar things about them.

When we don’t give in to the dark side of gossip, it can actually be an incredibly powerful tool in building and fortifying our networks.

Most everyone I know finds networking to be uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing. Yet, a strong network is crucial in building a thriving career, and it can be a valuable resource in all areas of our lives.

While many of us see the importance of having a healthy network, many of us struggle in finding ways to grow our network without being too awkward or forceful.

This is where gossip comes in. 

One of my favorite networking tools is utilizing “good gossip” in conversation. It is incredibly simple and also produces incredible results - both in the immediate and in the long term. Here’s how it goes:

Step 1: Find common ground with the person you’re speaking with such as a mutual contact or shared experience.

Step 2: Think of something exciting or positive about that mutual connection. It could be time-bound (like a recent performance) or a general statement (like a positive characteristic or attribute). This is the gossip content.

Step 3: Bring up the mutual connection in conversation and share the gossip content - but be sure to introduce it with the same level of intrigue and excitement that you might with more mainstream gossip.

That’s it! See, I told you this was simple. 

In action, this might sound like, “Hey! I think we both know Sally. Actually, she just released a recording - have you heard it? Oh you didn’t, well let me tell you, honestly…. it was SO fantastic.”

Aside from the trust and belonging that comes from establishing a mutual connection, purposefully spreading this type of positivity significantly increases the other person’s expectation that you might say positive things about them in the future. And who doesn’t want that?!

Despite popular belief, not all gossip is bad. And when we make “good gossip” our go to gossip, we can build strong and healthy networks without much effort at all.