Integrity - The Magic Key You've Been Searching For

In the quest for better - a better job, a better relationship, a better collaboration, a better friendship - integrity is the primary attribute we want to be looking for in ourselves and in others.

I define integrity as the alignment of thoughts, words, and actions. If one of these aspects is out of alignment or inconsistent, we are out of integrity.

The introduction of integrity as a concept was a huge game changer in my own life. Understanding integrity alleviated a lot of guilt, blame, and anger for myself and for others. It also allowed me to easily identify and eliminate people and situations that were not serving my own growth as well as identify and attract those of a higher quality into my life.

Just to be clear: lack of integrity does not equal lack of likability or appeal. There are plenty of likable people and shiny opportunities that are totally out of integrity. In fact, many people who exist in a non-integritous state will naturally hyper-develop their charisma and social graces to compensate.

So, how do we spot low integrity, and how do we handle it? Let’s break it down:

It starts with the Thought to Words connection

People experiencing disjointedness at this stage forget that the world can not read their mind! They may later attempt to employ actions that reveal their true thoughts, or maybe they just suffer in silence. 

At their worst, they end up blaming others for not possessing mind reading capacities and refuse to take responsibility for using their words to accurately represent their thoughts. 

Usually, it’s just that they are so afraid of sharing their true thoughts in all of their messy, uncertain, undeveloped stages - because then they might not be accepted, respected, and loved.

If this is you - try prefacing a thought share by saying “This is difficult for me, but I want to discuss some not fully developed thoughts I have.” 

Then Words turn into Actions

People whose actions do not match their words usually have forgotten the enormous importance that words carry in today’s society. They may not realize how much of an impact their off-handed comments and promises can have on others. 

At their worst, they end up blaming others for being too sensitive or having unrealistic expectations of them. 

Usually, its just that they have a diminished concept of how much others pay attention to them. They might be “playing small” in many areas of their life due to a fear of failure or a fear of success.

If this is you - take some time to look at your concept of self-love and self-confidence. It may seem woo-woo, but the more you build yourself up internally, the easier it will be for you to follow through on your promises externally.  

Integrity is a practice, and all of us slip out of it from time to time. However, when we decide to seek out integrity - both internally and externally - we are able to take ownership of our own life experience, and ultimately create the experience we want.