Do you see what I see?

Picture taken by my mother of my father taking a picture of a bike lane in Iceland. Aka - a typical vacation in my family.

As I mentioned in a recent post, I am the child of engineers. Both of my parents, for as long as I can remember, have had conversations about trains, planes, automobiles, buildings, city planning, and drainage systems over the dinner table. 

Family vacations were full of pit stops at crosswalks and drainage pipe covers so that my father could take a picture of bike lanes or my mother could take a picture of the city placards resting over drains. Fun times.

I, however, am not an engineer. While I loved mathematics growing up, I also loved music. I love the human mind. I love philosophical wonder. And so I did not follow in the family tradition of engineering. I took a totally weird and uncharted professional path as far as my family goes.

Which brings me to the point of this post.

Perspective.

What you see is what you get

Let’s talk, for a second, about the Namibian Himbas. 

Long story short, the Himba tribe has a unique way of verbally classifying colors. More importantly, for the purposes of this conversation, their way of verbally classifying colors differs greatly from the way we classify colors in the Western world. 

The difference of classification between the Himbas and the Western world is kind of like if we related to, labeled and arranged food in the grocery store by different types of texture, rather than based off of our current food pyramid style categorization system.

Anyways, due to the way they classify colors, people of the Himba tribe can easily recognize different types of green that the vast majority of people in the Western world could not. 

Don’t believe me? Yeah, my ego couldn’t comprehend it either. Below is a diagram from the study. The wheel below has 11 blocks of the same color green and 1 block of a different color green. Can you easily tell the difference? The Himbas can.

Why can’t we see the same greens that the Himbas can see?

Well, simply put, we don’t have the language for it. And because we don’t have the language, our perception has been shaped in a totally different way.

Language, or even more broadly, information as a whole is key in how we come to develop our perception. What we know - we see. 

But what about the blocks of perception that come from lack of information?

Well, sometimes in the case of colors, we simply don’t see any difference. However, often in our day to day life, what we can not perceive often leads to area of fear or seeming impossibility in our own lives.

Danger on the roads

I would not consider myself to be a strong driver. When I drive, especially when I drive on highways, I seem to be highly aware of all of the things that could go wrong and all of the unknowns that might bring danger.

Driving on curvy highways at night seems to be especially tough because it feels like a guessing game for me and I don’t really understand how all of the cars speeding by me seem to be doing just fine while I feel two seconds away from tipping my car and toppling off the face of the planet.

My father, in particular, got his start in engineering by working on highways. So I once asked him if he feels at home on highways the same way I still feel at home in a concert hall. He confirmed that yes, he does. This is the same way that my mother, who got her start in structural engineering, feels very at home on bridges - a concept that I know brings terror to a lot of drivers.

In response, I expressed a wish that I could see what my parents see when they drive. Because to me, based on the information or lack thereof I have, it seems like it’s all danger all the time.

My parents, however, see something totally different. They see the mathematics and physics behind how the road slopes on a turn and where and how to accelerate to make the curve work for the momentum of their vehicle. They know why and how shoulders and guardrails are designed to accommodate for accidents. They know what driving behaviors work best with certain road widths because they know why the roads were designed the way they were.

Because of the information that they have, they have a totally different experience. They have a totally different perception. 

Now, how could this apply beyond the color green and driving on highways?

One man’s unknown is another man’s known

Dive into any amount of trying to know yourself better whether that be in therapy, with a coach, or through reading a self development book and you will quickly come across the concept that most humans fear what we do not know.

Now, logically, most of us get this. We understand that the unknown technically has the capacity to bring great possibility. We understand that our fear is just our subconscious telling us that we are in danger. Most people pretty quickly logically get it.

But if you’re anything like me, logical understanding only goes so far.

So I want to offer a secondary perspective that might help a little. It goes back to the greens and it goes back to the highways. And it’s this:

Just because it is unknown to you, doesn’t mean it is totally unknown.

Just because you can’t see the different green, doesn’t mean everyone can’t. The Himbas can. Just because I feel like highways are death traps full of unwieldy surprises, doesn’t mean everyone experiences them that way. My parents see the full logic in every twist and turn.

Just because switching careers feels like a launch into a dark abyss of danger and uncertainty, doesn’t mean everyone views it that way. Some people know, through their own experience or perspective, that nearly any career change can be undone, redone, or expanded upon quite easily.

Just because it feels like having that uncomfortably direct conversation will risk making you a terrible person or destroying your relationship, doesn’t mean that everyone thinks so. Some people can easily discern the difference between cruel directness and loving directness, and just because you can’t yet see the difference, doesn’t mean there’s not an actual difference to be seen.

Thinking of the unknown in this way is sometimes helpful to me personally because it adds its own flavor of possibility. Just because I don’t have the information or perspective to see whatever the thing is as safe, doesn’t mean that information or perspective doesn’t exist, and therefore it doesn’t mean the thing isn’t safe. 

And it’s possible that looking at it this way might mean that you don’t even need to fervently seek out the information or perspective yourself to feel more at ease. Simply knowing that a perspective exists or that information exists that transforms your scary situation into a safe one may be all you need to release a little more fear.

The world can seem like a terrifying place, especially when we are launched into areas of it where we feel ill equipped or uncertain. And yes, 100% certainty is never guaranteed. 

But the world is big and you are but one person in it. There is a lot of knowledge out there and a lot of varied perspectives which create the puzzle pieces of what we are constantly creating together. 

Knowing that feeling secure is simply a perspective switch away - and that in fact there are people who hold and live that perspective - may be all you need to start feeling a little more safe today.

PS - It’s the green at the 11 o’clock spot that is the odd green out.