Worth vs Value vs Fee - An Important Distinction for Buyers and Sellers Alike

A friend of mine recently moved across the country. After researching many different ways to get his belongings to his new city, he settled on a moving company. 

This company did not give him the cheapest quote by any means. In fact, it was the highest quote he received. 

However, there were other things at play. It was a flat fee - meaning that delays or breakdowns or other issues would not increase his rate. In his interactions with them, they were incredibly detail-oriented, thorough, and above all, consistent.

And the icing on the cake? They had over-quoted him - on purpose. They inflated the initial quote to account for any issues or miscommunications in the phone call. But, on the day of the move, my friend was informed that he would have to pay less than he was quoted.

Value is not universal.

My friend selected this moving company because their fee matched the value of their service - for him. 

For HIM.

I can not say this loudly enough.

You may be different. You may have wanted to take your chances with the company that offered a lower quote but didn’t offer a fixed price. You may have wanted to rent a U-Haul and drive across the country. You may have wanted to sell all of your belongings and start fresh in the new city.

For you, this moving company’s fee may not have matched the value of their service. Because for you and your lifestyle, the service they were providing wasn’t actually that valuable.

And that’s absolutely okay. In fact, it’s better than okay.

It’s exactly how it should be.

A brief dictionary break

For the purposes of this post, we are going to differentiate and define the following words:

Fee: The actual $$ amount that something costs. This is decided by the service provider or seller. It is usually based on a variety of factors: market rates, seller’s costs, perceived value, supply and demand - to name a few.

Value: What one actually gains from a service or a product. This is decided by the person who consumes a service or a product. It is usually based on a variety of factors: the consumer’s lifestyle, personal value system, whether or not they show up to or use the product or service - to name a few.

Estimated Value: What one assumes they will gain from a service or a product. This is somewhat decided by the consumer and their experience - and is often heavily influenced by marketing tactics. A difference often occurs, in both directions, between Perceived Value and Value. 

Worthiness: One’s inherent value as a human being. There is no scale or ranking for this, and it is a given for every human. Everyone is inherently worthy. Period.

Worth it: Short hand for the equation “Fee + Value = X” or “Fee + Estimated Value = X”. Sounds like it is related to worthiness, but it is not.

Bringing it into focus

I have seen the blurring of these five words and phrases cause enormous amounts of pain, uncertainty, and anger in countless people - consumers and sellers alike.

For example, I have definitely been in many situations where I have purchased something - a service or a product - and have experienced severe disappointment. The thing wasn’t what I expected. I felt duped. 

Best case scenario, I became more suspicious - of everything. Worst case scenario, I blamed myself - for being stupid, for not knowing enough, for having unrealistic expectations, you name it.

In reality, it was simple. The Estimated Value didn’t match the Value. That’s all. Once I knew that, I could look at the factors behind Estimated Value and Value, see where the breakdown really occurred, and determine how to prevent it in the future. 

Am I particularly susceptible to certain marketing techniques that were employed? Did I assume that the Value someone else assigned to the product or service would automatically translate to me - even though we lead very different lives? 

For me, it ended up being that I needed to define the Value I wanted to see in my life before engaging with the product or service. For you, it might be different. 

To the service providers in the room

You may have missed it above, but a reminder about the definition of Value:

You do not decide the value of your work. Your client does.

This is very important to understand.

You get to decide how you are going to show up. You get to decide what service you are going to provide. You get to decide your fee. You get to recommend how a client needs to show up in order to maximize the potential value they receive.

But at the end of the day, the person who you are serving is going to determine the value of your work for them. And if they determine that your service is not valuable to them - they are not wrong. You are not wrong. It doesn’t mean they are dumb. It doesn’t mean you need to rethink your entire approach. It doesn’t mean anything.

It just means that that person is not your audience. Even if you thought they were - they’re not.

If you have ever had the thought “But how could they not see I’m worth it! I’m providing so much VALUE!” - I urge you to give this thought exercise a try. 

Because the thing is - the more that you allow your clients and potential clients the freedom to determine their own definition of value, the less defensive you will become.

And the less defensive you become, the more you will be able to show up in service.

And the more you show up in service, the more you will attract your ideal client. 

Unfortunately, I can’t fix the English language.

English is a notoriously vague language. Our love of pronouns and multi-definition words make the grey area in our communication enormous. 

But especially on the topic of worth and value, clarity matters. So, if you are experiencing frustration or uncertainty - I urge you to commit to specificity.

I’ve found that it’s the only way I can really make sure I know what I’m talking about.