The One Question I Inevitably Ask My Entrepreneur Clients

As those who have read my blogs for awhile know, I used to play poker a lot in college. One of the people I played with often had a nearly photographic memory. He once told me that he could recall, on command, the hands that people held from earlier points in the night or even earlier games. 

The way he described it sounded so cool and so literal - almost like a video game simulation. He would sit at the table, look around at the other players, and hanging above their heads he would see little cards that changed based on the hand he was trying to recall. 

Ever since he told me this, I was always aware that when he looked at me, he was looking at the cards hanging above my head. 

Personally, as someone who enjoyed the more psychological and emotional undercurrents of poker, I used this knowledge to my advantage. If he was focused on the cards and the numbers, he was not paying attention to me - the human. 

By looking solely at the math, the human part of the game became his blindspot.

Do you see what I see?

I work with a lot of service providers and entrepreneurs. Inevitably in our work, as they are speaking, I will get a strange yet familiar feeling. This feeling prompts me to ask a very specific question.

“I’m so curious,” I ask, “when you think about these prospective clients, do you see a human being who has hopes and dreams and needs - or are you seeing a dollar amount hanging above their head?”

Sometimes they respond quickly. Sometimes they need to think first. Always they respond with “dollar amount”. 

If you’ve never tried your hand in entrepreneurship, reading this may shock you.

If you are an entrepreneur, reading this may make you feel relieved in knowing that you’re not alone.

While this is definitely not ideal, it’s so normal for a service provider to have this experience at least once in their journey. It’s easy to get swept up in numbers, enrollment, the lack of money in your account, and the ability to make money ahead. 

However, in my experience, what someone does with these moments and thought patterns is a significant indicator of their long term trustworthiness and success.

Fish are friends not food.

Clients are people not dollar amounts. Losing sight of this is a huge disservice to all parties involved. 

Who reading this likes to feel like they are only as valuable as their checkbook? Probably nobody. It doesn’t matter how much money you do or don’t have, you probably want to be seen for who you are. 

When a service provider slips into a dollar sign mentality, they may not realize it at the time, but they lose the ability to see their clients or prospective clients for the people they are. And wow - do humans really pick up on it when they aren’t being seen.

“But Lisa!” you may say. “I need to make money!”

Yeah, same. Most people do. I’m not saying don’t make money or don’t support yourself.

I’m saying that when I’m hungry, and there are no groceries in the house, I don’t go full-blown Hannibal Lecter on my family and chow down on their arms. I go to the grocery store and cook dinner. Does it take longer? Yes. Is it more work? Yes. Am I hungry the whole time? Yes.

But, going to the grocery store is a solution that is way more aligned with the actual urgency of the situation, my personal values, and my respect for the human beings in my life.

Can it be complicated and difficult to simultaneously seek to earn money as a service provider while also seeing prospective clients as non-monetary humans? Yes, absolutely! Is it impossible? No it’s not. 

And in fact, just like grocery shopping is going to meet way more needs in general than cannibalism, focusing on the people in your business - not the money - is going to yield much larger results in the long run.

But how do I stop the hunt?

As I said, I’ve struggled with this before in my own practice. If you are struggling with this, there’s no need to be ashamed. It’s normal. It’s human. And it’s totally possible to want to do better tomorrow but not beat yourself up over yesterday’s thoughts.

In the moments where I’ve most struggled, something that helped immensely was scheduling out ten minutes before each prospective client or client call. I would use that time to focus on the human being I was about to speak to and recall what I admire most in them. In all honesty, I still do this, but I don’t need to schedule the time out anymore.

The other thing you can do is surround yourself with people and messaging that support a true service mindset. The online world can be pretty insidious. I find that if I spend enough time ingesting cutthroat, life hack, gotcha marketing resources, I can quickly slip into those mindsets. So, be mindful about the influencers, service providers, and coaches you are following. 

One of my favorite books for this type of thing is The Go Giver by Bob Burg. It’s a quick read and brings me back to center whenever I float out.

Finally, practice radical generosity. Reminder - generosity doesn’t mean giving from an empty cup. Generosity means giving purposefully when and where you can. 

Trying to fill your brand new coaching practice with paying clients? Take calls with everyone and serve them as deeply as possible - even if you know they aren’t likely to become a paying client. Trying to fill your consulting roster with clients at the next pricing level? Set one reduced rate spot aside for someone who can’t afford your new rates.

Mindful generosity is incredibly important to cultivating and sustaining service mindset. 

Forgetting your core why in the face of money is not uncommon, it’s not the end of the world, but it’s also not serving you or your clients. The more quickly you can see what is going on and take measure to cultivate the environment that is more aligned with your values, the more quickly you will see the results in your business and for your clients.